It was another evening of after work drinks and I was to meet up with my friend, K, a social butterfly by nature who is instantly everyone’s best friend, including one of mine for the past 12 years. We chose to meet at one of my usual spots and pulled up to the bar. It was a Wednesday at 5pm and not busy. Since opening, this spot has been packed every day during the weekend, but since this economic hiccup, it seems like everyone is drowning their sorrows at home with a cheap bottle of red instead of that $60 Chianti. It certainly puts a damper on my life and my quest for that sugar daddy. These Tales may start to get sparser…

But I digress, back to business. We had just ordered our second glasses and were halfway through our appies when “he” made an appearance. I can’t mention exactly who “he” is for fear that he will somehow read this through googling his name and the jig will be up. But I will say this, he’s someone that everyone knows of as a local fixture. Some have never seen him, but all know of him. This is because he bears a striking resemblance to a certain 80’s actor. People actually approach him thinking that he is the real thing. I’m going to leave it at that and refer to him as The Moustache (if that doesn’t ring any bells, then you’ve all got to get your heads checked).

The Moustache and I exchanged looks across the bar and I quickly looked away, feeling my face burning up red. He took up a station at the end of the bar with the young man he was with, his son, who was very handsome indeed. K had started chatting with the older man sitting next to me - as I said earlier, she will talk to anyone. He was regaling us with his work details and was interested in K’s line of work as he could use some of the services she offered. He told us how he had jumped around from job to job - was in investment banking then owned a diamond mining company in Africa and now runs his own “global investment” company, whatever that means. I thought he was a bit full of it and kind of zoned out of the conversation. That’s when I thought I would amuse myself by playing peekaboo with The Moustache. Not literally! Gawd… I’m not that cheesy. I could feel him looking at me though, so I gazed his way every so often and sent him one of those sexy half smiles. At least, I think they’re sexy.

K and I asked for our tab and proceeded to pay the bill when one of the bartenders leaned in to me and said that the gentleman at the end of the bar wanted to buy me a glass of wine. Mission accomplished. Note to self: Coy smiles will seal the deal.

Once I got my glass, I headed over to say thank you, as all appreciative girls do. He gave me his real name, not fake movie star name as I heard he sometimes does to bed helpless women. He introduced me to his son. Hot. Young, tall and hot. They were both rather flirtatious and I got the feeling that this was a regular routine that they played. Regardless, I was enjoying myself. The father/son tag team works well for them. We finished our glasses and they had to leave. I couldn’t help myself though, how often would I be put into this situation again with a hot father/son duo? So I handed them both my business card and actually told them both to get in touch. Bold move. I think it worked. Not 30 minutes after they left, I got an email from the father saying he enjoyed my smile and the next day, the son sent me a Facebook message inviting me to their cabin. Wow. I wonder if I’ll ever live this kinky fantasy out…

My Lessons From a Bar Stool:

For the Ladies:

1. Once again, don’t talk to a man if he’s annoying or dull. You are not obligated to speak to him just because he is sitting next to you at the bar. It will be harder to get rid of him in the long run. Harsh? Maybe.
2. Do send a man coy smiles.
3. Don’t blatantly stare at a man, this will scare him off. A few quick glances and perhaps one lingering look should do the trick.

For the Men:

1. If you send a drink to a woman, don’t leave out her lone friend - it’s rude. You always want to win over the friend. Only exception is if she’s with a big group, then just send one.
2. Do have a drink with your father or son and if you’re both hot, use it to your advantage. It’s a dynamic that women don’t see often and it’s very intriguing.
3. If you’re interested, do send an email within 24 hours - don’t play the 3 day game.

-S.A.

Read our past Tales From A Bar Stool…

The NKOTB concert this past Friday turned me into an 11 year old girl again. I screamed, I swooned and I sang along to all of the old songs. It was possibly heaven on earth.

The boys opened up the show with their latest hit, Single, which was soon followed by some New Kids classics. I have to say that the boys certainly still know how to perform. I was entertained throughout the entire concert. Their dance moves are still top form, although they have toned it down a bit from their early days. It seemed that Jordan and Joey did most of the singing, followed by Donnie. Danny and Jon held back and let the others steal the show. The worst part of the show was when they held a photo contest after their Click Click Click number. It was just lame and a waste of time. I tuned out. They need to switch that up. Favourites - Tonight, Step by Step and Summertime (yes, the new song)

Yes, I still have a soft spot for each of the boys. I had forgotten how hot Jordan Knight is… did anyone else need to change their panties after his solo of Baby I Believe In You where he crooned in front of the wind machine in an open white shirt? Wow. Hot. I was even attracted to Danny Wood when he busted out some breakdancing. Surprised? I was. He was always a bit of a monkey boy. Joey’s still hot but, as we later found out after the concert, he’s a bit of a diva. Someone should tell him that there are five members in the group, not one. Jon Knight, the shy and quiet New Kid, has grown into a very handsome man with some fabulous arms. And then there’s Donnie Walhberg… still a bad boy.

The crowd at the concert was an odd mix of females. Mainly over the age of 25 but there were definitely some youngsters in the group… possibly just there to see Lady GaGa. I can’t imagine the girls under 25 would remember the New Kids in their prime. The clothes that the girls wore were just as terrible as the outfits at the Madonna concert. Think neon, leg warmers and tight everything. Girls wearing short skirts and tight tops who really shouldn’t be wearing those things - they really need to learn to dress for their figures. I actually cringed.

NKOTB couldn’t have picked a better time for a comeback. I enjoyed their new songs and their old. It was an excellent concert… perhaps even on the same level as Madonna. But I must say, the best part was hanging out with the boys post concert. Can we say dream come true?

So after trying to drink my stress away for the last few months, okay maybe year, I’ve decided to switch gears and go to yoga during the week. This decision was made easy for me as my liver started to twinge a bit after a few too many nights of partying and now my stomach bothers me when I have white wine.

So I said to myself, could this be a sign? Hell ya it is. It’s time to shape up and make some positive life changes. So here I am after a 1.5 hour hot yoga session wanting to let the world know just how amazing  yoga is. I’m not a newbie to this scene, I somehow just fell out of the routine. If you’ve never tried yoga before, I really suggest going to Yaletown Yoga at 280-1050 Homer Street. I’ve been to a few different studios around town and this is by far my favorite. There are a variety of different types of classes and varieties of yoga to try out which is nice because then you can pick one that works for you. Right now I’m on the hot yoga, not quite as hard as the power yoga but still a good challenge. It really is amazing what people can do with their bodies in this place. Hmmm maybe I’ll manage to pick up a hot man here, instead of the bar stool. Namaste.

Yes, this dress is pricey. But it is guaranteed to stun. It’s called the “Raptor Dress” - doesn’t that say it all?

Pick one up at Holt Renfrew for $560 or on Shopbop… a steal, don’t you think?

There is nothing worse than waking up in the morning with one of those pimples that have roots. Especially when it’s right in the middle of your face - say, smack dab in the centre of your cheek. And you know these horrible monsters only turn up right before an important event, like a first date, party or trip. Once, I actually called in sick to work when I had an unsightly bump on my chin. And most recently, I even went into a medical clinic to get some antibiotic cream to treat a minor blemish that arose before a big trip. A trip where I hoped to get laid on, and therefore, needed to be flawless. No mocking, please. (PS… I did get laid)

Drastic measures? Perhaps. Too vain? Most definitely.

Just what can you do to get rid of that pimple? Here are some tips - but remember, I’m not a doctor, so use them at your own risk:

• Use polysporin on the pimple in the morning and night.
• Hydrocortizone cream removes redness and swelling… you do the math.
• Don’t push! Only if there’s a white head. Gross.
• Don’t use a ton of products on your skin. They will only dry out your skin more and subsequently create more oil.
• Put an ice pack on the spot for up to 30 minutes to take away some of the redness.
• Products with benzoyl peroxide or salicylic acid will help treat the problem.
• Cetaphil cleanser is the gentlest cleanser ever, I use it every morning.
• Find a good spot treatment. Clinique has a great one.
• Got recurring pimples? See a dermatologist and have something prescribed. I have Clinoxyl gel and it’s like magic.

If these don’t work, I suggest putting a bag on your head. Got any more home remedies?

It’s that time of year again! Time to get under the mistletoe and get some makeouts. Perhaps a workplace affair or two after a few too many bevy’s on the company. Or even better, maybe you’ll try to take down the boss. Whatever you get up to - tis the season to look your best.

If you’re like me and hate shopping in crowds, can never find the right size (since you leave everything to the last minute) and get yourself into an utter panic the night before the big party…here are a few suggestions that might come in handy.

Christmas Dress $

If you still have some time before the series of parties begin and don’t feel like spending a ton of money, I suggest going online and ordering from forever21. Their Canadian site has quite a few dresses from $7.99 - $43.90 and while they are certainly not haute couture, they will save your bank account.

Next up for the budget conscious is my personal favorite Bedo. I’ve been very lucky at this store when it comes to last minute, inexpensive and fabulously fitting finds.

Don’t forget about Zara & H&M, which are known for their Euro style. You can usually find a decent dress or two here, however, I can’t guarantee that you’ll be the only one wearing it.

Christmas Dress $$

Club Monaco usually has a great selection of dresses which are typically a la mode, but in my humble opinion a tad overpriced. Maybe it’s because I see them severely discounted after the season. Nonetheless, they are still less expensive than many boutiques.

Barefoot Contessa has always been a hit or miss for me. I think it’s because the store is really girly and it puts me in a weird zone. However, many of my friends seem to be able to find the gold in this store and for a reasonable amount of coin. I say if you’re looking for something original, this is a great place to check out.

Narcissist: If you’re looking for that perfect black dress that you can wear eight different ways, definitely head to Narcissist. Their dresses are great for traveling, classy and very easy to take off ahhhem

Christmas Dress $$$

Holt Renfrew: Holt Renfrew honestly has the nicest and the largest selection of dressed that I have found in this city. With labels from Chloe to D&G, the options are endless. I love this store, but it definitely comes with a warning tag called temptation. I would be willing to bet that you’ll end up spending way more than you originally planned. On the plus side, I’m thinking your hotness will make up for this.

L2 & Leone is one hot store. If you want a sexy, edgy look for your Christmas party definitely hit up L2. Guaranteed to get you some action, their dresses will make you feel dangerous. Ummm maybe skip the meatballs though..you might need to squeeze into that xsmall

Betsey Johnson: I know a lot of the dresses in this store look like they came out of a really good 80’s prom movie, but it’s definitely possible to find a dress minus the poof ball skirt here. If anything else, it’s just fun to go in and try on dresses.

I was recently nursing a violent hangover (surprise, surprise) anyway I didn’t feel like moving or being social, so I sat on my couch and wallowed in tylenol and the thought of crawling to Mc.D’s to poison my body. As I flipped the channels on my boob tube, I came across the movie About a Boy. Now Elizabeth Hurley is not in this flick, but her ex Hugh Grant sure is. And, although I am fairly sure he is one scummy chum, my head did stop pounding once I heard the sweet sound of his British accent and his boyish charm. Elizabeth Hurley had a fairly unsuccessful TV and movie career, but ended up making it big with her first modeling gig at the old age of 29 with cosmetics company Estée Lauder. Since then she has launched her own beachwear line ‘Elizabeth Hurley Beach’ and most notably has been very active in Estée Lauder’s Breast Cancer Awareness Campaign.

I guess what I like most about this bird, is that she’s had a lot of bad press, dated a go nowhere who got caught with a hooker, got knocked up with someone who didn’t want to take responsibility and still managed to end up on top.

I had to share my latest fetish….look at these beauties!

Designed by L.A.M.B., the brilliant suede insert zip back heel…these babies are cfm’s that you might just leave on. Officially added to my Christmas wish list. Thanks Gwen!

Ever since I saw this guy in Little Children a couple of years ago, I have been drooling over Patrick Wilson. There’s something very sexy about this man… He’s dashing and handsome. The kind of man you could marry perhaps? He’s one of those men who you could see in the supermarket or walking down the street - ordinary, not movie star. Does that make sense?

Patrick has also appeared in Evening with Claire Danes, and the new release Lakeview Terrace. He was recently in Vancouver filming Watchmen, but unfortunately, I didn’t have any sightings… oh well…

Now that I have your attention, did you see the article in Concierge about all the places to get naked with the locals? I, of course, opened it up right away and had a peek at their top 12 picks of where you can join the locals in the buff. I highly suggest having a read through. It’s definitely helped me plan my next vacation.

Naturally, I was fairly upset that Vancouver was not on the list. Mind you, I can’t think of any mainstream naked festivals in our city. Can you? Well it got me thinking…. what do we have? We have the underwear affair run and the run for your buns, but besides this I’m drawing a big old blank. If I ‘had’ to bare it all in public, let me tell you I’d be spending a lot and I mean A LOT more time in the gym. Wouldn’t we all? Maybe this is what I need? Naked motivation to be camera ready. Does anyone want to sponsor a new event, festival, or any good old reason to get naked and party? I’m willing to donate some of my time.